Letting go and going with the flow

its been a big week for all of us and a big process for me to say its ok not to stick to a diary and other stuff....…. The short of it is that Morgan - a normally vivacious healthy 4 year old developed breathing probs and we have been in hospital all week. I am so thankful I was able to have a bed beside him and be there the whole time – and blessed with Jodi, a wonderful friend who took my Lilly into her arms and home and loved her while I was not there and a fantastic husband who bent over backwards to help in all ways possible.

Synchronicity… I am not a stranger to this , nor of the abundance and blessing surrounding us everyday – available to each of us if we care to accept them…. I was reminded once again that its there if you ask for it. I am not sure if you have experienced going to an unknown doctors surgery hoping that they will see you as soon as a doctor is available… Because we are ‘healthy folk” we don’t have a doctor … never needed one. I was very reluctant to seek medical treatment, but its different when its your baby….Driving to the surgery located ina busy shopping centre, I just asked that I find a parking spot close to the door and that we would be seen in an speedy time. My Spot was waiting for me outside the surgery door and as soon as I pulled out ID and was filling in the application form, a nurse took Morgan into the treatment room, lay him down and put him on oxygen. After seeing the doc and some treatment, we were offered an Ambulance to the hospital – but I declined – they are for sick or injured people I reasoned and took my car. I also hesitated to which hospital I was going to go to. I had heard bad reports about the closest one – this is going to sound awful - but it was located in a very low socio- economic area and well…. I was concerned about the care that might be there….

Synchronicity ….I chose that close one….. thank goodness… reasons explained later - My heart sank as I looked at the jam packed hospital car park. I had forgotten that it was nearly impossible to find a park even close – so again I just let go and asked for a close park and that we would be seen soon by the medical staff. And there my spot was – a legal park right outside the emergency department doors. Synchronicity hits and we were the only ones in the waiting room ( that NEVER happens… well it did – to us) and we were seen immediately, a wheelchair whisking Morgan off to a room. I sobbed when told he would be admitted visioning his little body lying in a big hospital bed, all alone , frightened and me not allowed to visit as it was out of hours… Synchronicity – this hospital encourages parent involvement and had sofa beds set up beside the childrens bed so that you can stay with them the entire time….. I found out that there are not many of these types of facilities - and certianly not at one of the hosptials I nealry set off towards.... blessed..... so blessed.....

I fretted for about a day about all the things I aught to be doing…of missed meetings.. of emails I couldn’t get to and reading I aught to be doing…….then I watched cartoons with my son, giggling at Sponge Bob at 3 in the morning. We ate M & Ms in bed together watching kids movies till late ( he usually has a strict TV allowance and early bed time) and joy of joy – there was an electronic game box donated by a charity for kids to use – what a magical gift. – a Nintendo with age appropriate games, a huge selection of DVDs and computer games rolled into one machine. I played more electronic games ( mostly Mario Brothers) in those days than I have ever done in my entire life…and had a lot of fun with my 4 yr old.. made him safe and secure with the scary things that were happening.. and allowed myself to not be the ‘reliable one’ – I got over the fact I had no-ones mobile number to let them know I was not able to turn up at a meeting, I got over fretting about my emails and inbox. Nothing is more important that your family and their health and wellbeing.. nothing…

So – I didn’t do morning pages - one of my committments to my writing career for nearly a week…and I am getting over it and myself…..and just looking forward to next week....