Celebration of Age Evett's Life

A huge thank you to Bec Vella - Miller who put this slideshow together for the people who weren't able to attend Adrian's funeral and service.

The music is from the service and the speech is the one Annie made on the day.

I hope these images and songs bring happy memories to those who did come.

Rest in Peace Sweetheart

I am publishing these photos for the people who were not able to make it on the day.

My family is fortunate to have a family plot - one where the public has access to for visits, but only family members are allowed to be buried in.

Its in a very beautiful peaceful spot on a hill, overlooking the creek and bushland.

Max came with me to choose the spot and there was  point where we both stopped and looked at each other, knowing that Adrian was guiding us.

Its a tranquil place and one I know the kids and I will take great comfort in sitting and reflecting as the years carry on.

Max and I will be choosing a large granite stone in the next month or so from the property, so until then, the make shift white cross is in place.

We had numerous floral tributes, and they all lay in a carpet on the dirt.  We will be planting grass there soon and choose a strong tree to be at his head - just as his wishes outlined.

I have been wearing Adrians wedding ring all day. Its too big for me and I know I will need to take it off.. but not just yet. 

My speech for Adrian

I have been asked to publish what I shared today at the graveside.

Passionate, Kind, Meticulous, Practical, a Warrior with a lovers heart. 

I fell in love with my karate instructor the moment I arrived at the dojo and for the next 23 years, this love strengthened and continues.

It was his gentleness and fierceness which first attracted and captured my heart. We built our relationship on trust, respect, genuine friendship and a huge dose of passion.  I remember when we first started to date, he bought me a bunch of flowers. I thought this romantic gesture would stop after a few weeks. But I continued to receive a bunch of flowers ever Friday afternoon for many years. It was the little attentive daily things that kept our romance alive. He wrote poetry and sent me notes and letters. Until recently, the longest we had been apart was 5 nights. Adrian was my best friend, confidante, partner and lover. He was my rock and I his.

Adrian was genuine with his emotions, but kept them in check with most of the world. He let me behind his mask and into his heart.  He thought deeply about his decisions, and once made, embodied it, lived it. There were no grey areas for him. It was only black or white.

Adrian was an incredibly articulate, intelligent man; one who shared my love of collecting weird and unusual facts and information. We have spend many a night talking until the sun came up. 

I feel so blessed to have shared the best part of 23 years with my soulmate. For fifteen years together we battled the tumour and we exceeded the original doctors prognosis of three years. We had hoped we could eventually conquer it.

One of the wedding oaths I committed to Adrian, was to love and protect him - till death do us part. But I can’t keep that oath. My love for him will continue past the grave. I continue to feel his caress on the breeze, kisses as the sunlight touches my skin. I am glad that he is free of his pain and his suffering.

Today I bury my best friend, my love, my soulmate. His flame lives on in my heart and those who loved him. 

Newspaper Clipping AGE

It just feels so sureal.

Memories of Adrian for our children please

In Adrian's life, he was in different people's lives for different reasons. Some things the kids would know well, some not so well. I am  asking people to simply put on paper their happy, positive memories of Age so that she is able to collect experiences for the kids which they would otherwise not know about.

As they grow older, as questions come, they will have a reference point from different people.

He planted he seeds of change in so many lives, inspired so many, was loved and respected by so many. I want our children to hold onto this and know this as they grow up.

A book will be available on Saturday at the wake to put these memories down, but she encourages others to write or type these and send them to her via her mums ( Del Mitchell)

"Turners Creek". 53 Pine Cres, Dalveen, Queensland, Australia. 

Feel free to include photos and your name as well. They will be pasted into the book and it available for the kids to refer to always.

Thanks for all your love and support during this tragic time.

A Celebration of Adrian Evett's life.

For those who are able to join us to celebrate Age's life.  

The address for Adrian (Age) Evett's Funeral on Saturday 28th Sept at 2 pm is Turners Creek Road, Dalveen. There isn't a number for the family plot, but it is close to Seaton Road. There will be signs from New England Highway. (Three road entrances to chose from - Mitchell Road or Turners Creek Road.)

The Wake will be at the Mitchells Shearing Shed - about 2 km away. Bring bedding if you want to stay, mattresses are available. Hot showers, kitchen and toilets are at the shed.

Lets give Age the send off he deserves with shared memories, laughter all round the bonfire.

Annie has been asked numerous times from wonderful, loving folk what they can 'do' at this time for Morgan, Lilly and herself. Your wishes and love is all they can ask for and its been a blessing to have that in abundance.

If you are coming to the funeral and wake, bring a platter of sweet things, sandwiches or snacky things. 

We would love to see a carpet of flowers at the funeral - so please feel free to bring a floral tribute - with a card attached!

The last option is only here as the family have been asked to include it. We appreciate people want to contribute in a way they feel comfortable and am so thankful for the many ways people have shown us support. 

Today, a kids account at Suncorp was set up for Morgan and Lilly
BSB 484 799
account - 50 6795439

R.I.P Adrian Evett. Loving husband and dad, inspirational mentor

It is with great sadness that I write this. My beautiful loving husband passed peacefully last Friday.  I've posted information about his funeral and celebration of his life on facebook and let all out networks know.

Below is the obituary I have written for him.. It just doesn't seem enough as he was so so much more. Every hour is a black hole of emptiness. 

Many thanks to Pow Pow Photography for this gorgeous shot of Age

The eldest of three, Adrian Giles Evett was born 1st of January 1968 In Luton, England. He emigrated with his parents to Geelong; where the growing family enjoyed camping and caravanning holidays. With the love of the outdoors deeply instilled, Adrian continued to enjoy hiking and camping throughout his life.

Adrian was a scholarship student at Geelong Grammar, but made the decision to join his family in Queensland when they moved for his fathers health. He was torn with career options, his love of nature willing him into environmental and marine biology, but the lure of the exciting new industry of information technology captured his desire to unlock mysteries and solve problems. At university, Adrian developed a passion for the martial arts and weaponry, balancing this with classical guitar.

As an unqualified programer, Adrian met Annie while he was teaching karate. She convinced him to re-enrol and complete his university degree to escape the drudgery of coding.  His meticulous attention to detail and driven personality saw him succeed within IT, moving quickly from a programmer to IT analyser  and into managerial positions which drew on his interpersonal and communication skills. His passion for learning new things and pushing boundaries opened career opportunities, allowed him to develop skills within finance portfolios and risk analysis, seeing him become one of the most knowledgeable people within this market and a highly sought after speaker at international conferences. Annie and Adrian continued their shared interests in bushwalking, camping and martial arts; opening a successful Karate Dojo in the Stanthorpe area.

The recession of the early 1990‘s saw Adrian and Annie lose jobs overnight. They packed their belongings and moved into a tin shed with an outdoor bathroom, working in menial jobs until they married in 1993. With promises of teaching jobs in the UK, Adrian followed Annie to London, where they intended to live for at least 10 years. They traveled extensively, from backpacking, to bicycling through to motorcycle touring. It was whilst they were planning an overland trek back to Australia on motorcycles, that Adrian had his first seizure. A brain tumour was discovered and radiotherapy undertaken. Adrian and Annie focused on returning to Australia to be with family.

Research into natural therapies and options shared their lives over the next 13 years. Adrian continued to confound doctors with his health and conviction to heal himself. After being told they were not able to have children, they were gifted with Morgan and Lilly.

As travel and experiences were so important to Adrian and Annie, from an early age, the children were introduced to international travel, with the family ensuring to make meaningful memories on frequent adventurous holidays and camping trips.

Adrian’s passions focused on interpersonal communication skills, leadership and mentoring. He was driven to explore the place of masculinity and fatherhood within society and foster support groups to enrich and enable men to step up and into their own beings. Adrian and Annie were a driving force with the Brisbane Basket Brigade, a charitable organisation and initiated the Brisbane Yes Group, a supporting meet up group for Tony Robbins Graduates, a true legacy of his leadership and passion for self development.

Although Adrian’s brain tumour continued to grow and affect certain facilities, Adrian refused to bend to give in to it. His ability to adapt and the families conviction to remain within normality, ensured that they enjoyed a love filled home with laughter and wonderful memories.

When the tumour began to affect his ability to work, the family decided to sell their suburban lifestyle, go travelling with the intention to settle in a peaceful beachside village so that Adrian could convalesce. Adrian and Morgan (10yrs old) walked the 800 km Santiago Camino Pilgrimage. Lilly and Annie met them at the 120km mark and the family completed the walk together, despite his increased impediments to movement and speech.  After this momentous trek, sadly Adrian's health deteriorated rapidly.

A big man with a bigger heart who displayed courage and determination along his entire life’s journey, Adrian’s influence planted the seeds of greatness in so many lives, one which will not be forgotten.

"Man of the House now"

Something that alot of people say to Morgan is "Now that you are man of the house......" and finish with some sort of advice. Its all well meaning, kind and thoughtful - I understand this; but it disturbs me on a few levels.... and my heart just wrings with his response - which I will share a little further down.

I am disturbed thinking that people believe that there needs to be a man in my house - in order for me to be happy, safe, secure or whatever it is that a 'man' is supposed to bring.  I've always been independent, and perhaps this is a failing or flaw on my behalf.

It saddens me to think that a 10 year old aught to take on any sort of responsibility in 'heading' a family.  Morgan is so mature in so many ways, being forced to grow up with concepts - but in other ways he is just a little kid.. and I want him to stay that ways for as long as possible.  Being a grown up isn't all its cracked up to be.

It saddens me to see Morgan taking on a bigger role within our family unit - the weight of responsibility on his shoulders is clearly seen now.  He worries over and for me incessantly. I am not sure how to stop this; not with the constant reminders from well meaning people that he now "needs to take care of the girls", and that he is "the man of the family".

His maturity makes my heart swell. His response, without missing a beat, is always, "Thanks, but I'm only doing it till Dad gets back and he can take over then."

Blessings be... He will be ( and is growing to be) a magnificent young man.

Our Canungra family

Here are our main pals for the next two weeks. Beautiful Pixie is a mastiff with such a sweet nature. Although she is huge, she is very gentle and the kids have really taken to her already. 

Our main charge is Ally and her seven (yes count them seven) pups.  They are 5 weeks old and growing fast.  Poor love has that haggard mum look - I know it well. The pups need feeding three times a day and Ally needs a break every few hours from the 'kids'.

Last but not least are these two little ratbags. Jazzy - as you can see - never sits still and is bouncing and trying to play all the time. Mini is a sweet little thing, who at the moment prefers to stay in her bed rather than come for walks.. I am sure it will change soon when she gets to know us.

We also have a budgie, a parrot, three chickens and a rooster - but they are pretty low maintenance. 

A New Housesit begins

Its a blessing that we don't have any ongoing bills at this time. The thought of having to meet rent or mortgage commitments sends shudders down my spine - much less utility bills and the like.. phew.. I've been in no shape to get out of bed or talk on the phone for the last 6 weeks, much less think about looking for a job or working.

Although it may seem unsettling to be moving about so often, house siting has been a great experience for us, filling many needs.

Morgan and Lilly have long wanted pets, so now we get to care for a wide range of pets for short amounts of time, and though its heartbreaking to say goodbye to those we really connect with, we know there is another furry heart to meet down the track.

We have had some great locations too - our Gympie one had a creek to explore and so much land to run around in - the kids really lapped it up and loved the 'farm life'.

The housesits we have had have been very peaceful places and given me space to just be and breathe. I was in love with the Pomona mansion... Its kind of fun pretending that the home is yours.. even if its for a while.  Our newest one is for two weeks in Canungra. I'll take photos of the myriad of pets we are looking after tomorrow and post up.

I don't know what the future will hold for us; but I am still in no shape to make any decisions or plan ahead any further than a few days.  With Age out of hospital this week, we need to remain close and at hand to help in any way we can to further his healing and recovery.  The kids miss him so much and I can't even begin to process what is going on in their minds, much less mine.

Little Masterchef Morgs..

Morgan has always been keen to help out in the kitchen and has now wanted to step it up from baking bikkies and desserts to making a main meal.

We were given a small cookbook when we went to Vienna, and one of Morgans goals is to make the famous schnitzels. However, today he took on the chicken kiev.  

Proof of course is in the pudding! A great dinner Morgan.. Enjoyed by all.

A wonderful weekend together

Its hard to believe its been 8 weeks; with Adrian still in hospital and our lives tipped upside down.

 However, every day, he grows stronger, has more movement and capabilities in his right hand side and is gradually regaining speech patterns and memory. Today, his speech was fantastic - I can only hope it will continue in leaps and bounds as the days go on. His tenacity and spirit to heal and improve is an inspiration.

Age has been 'allowed' out on weekends for a few hours, so I took the opportunity to take him for a drive around some of our 'old' haunts and for time for the both of us to just sit, enjoy the sunshine and each others presence. I love that there are long periods of comfortable quiet - where no words are required.. just glances and a small smile every so often.

Yesterday, we found a pozzy near Perigean Beach - check out the photos for the gorgeous blue sky and wonderful weather..

Adrian needs to wear the shoulder brace as the strength in that arm has decreased, giving the risk of the socket weakening and having rotor cuff issues at a later stage.. having suffered that myself and not being able to train at Karate for nearly a year.. it would not be a great thing to happen to him.

Today, he wanted to drive and look at places we'd been to over 23 years ago on wards. I feel so old seeing houses and places built up where there used to be fields.

Though the sky had a few clouds, it was really hot today, and as you can see Coolum is just a pretty regardless. 

We had a quiet lunch at the beachside pub - such a fancy place now and not like it 'used to be' ( there I go again.. old lady talk alert....) and yes - for those who know I have been juicing exclusively for over 7 weeks.. I did eat something today.. a salad mind you... but I ate.

Before finally settling down under a pandanis tree overlooking granite bay near Noosa National Park.  I know its frustrating for Age not to be able to convey all he wants to; and especially hard for him not to have full functionality of his limbs - especially when walking ( phew - to think he and Morgan had just done 800 km scant weeks ago) but believe me, his progress is amazing. He is amazing and is surrounded by so much love and support, there really is not other choice but for him to heal and continue his pathway to recovery. 

Its precious moments like this weekend, which I cherish and hold in my heart. 

With nearly 24 years of love and devotion to one another, I choose to draw on that rather than 2 months of crazy uncertainty; where the tumour, massive brain swelling, drugs and who knows what else has played havoc on decisions and choices. 

The kids and I remain strong and supportive to Age on his pathway to recovery.  He will need to remain close to Eden Hospital for the outpatient rehab program, so will stay at his mums for a while. After that; its anyones guess. 

We - the kids and I have no other plans; other than to continue to house sit, homeschool and breathe every day. 

Oh - that and to love him and support Adrian in every way we can.

News that Age will bust out of hospital soon!

Yep - its true.  News on the street is that as soon as next week, Age will be busting out of hospital and let loose amongst the wildlife... or something like that!

Its been a little while since I updated the blog about Adrian's progress - for the simple fact that there hasn't been any significant news of changes.  He undertakes strenuous physio and OT every day for up to four hours a day, which leaves him absolutely exhausted mentally and physically.

I know he gets a little despondent about his perceived lack of progress, and though it is small, I see and hear the improvement every time we connect. Friends and loved ones are asked to hold him strong - especially now.

Tonight, when we spoke, I think it was the clearest and most concise I have heard him formulate sentences and ideas for a long time.

He still has a long journey in front of him, but with the love and support of those around him, it will be baby steps towards his recovery.

This is an old photo - but one I forgo to post up at the time. Morgan loves checkers and chess - so is more than happy to play with Dad to pass the time.

The kids message to daddy

As Age is not able to read well, or respond to texts or email, I thought we might send him some short videos from time to time, of the kids messages of support and love. They had videoed lots and sent to him already.

Here is one today.. though I think I might need to remind them they are on video.. and have something to say!! At least you can see its off the cuff and unscripted!

Age Progress Report

Although Adrian progresses every day, sometimes he can't see or feel it. So if you can, please call him or visit to encourage and support this monumental journey he is undertaking.

I told him that the Camino was a gentle walk in a park compared to what he is facing now. Everyday the OT, speechy and physios put him through gruelling and exhaustive activities. He is normally completely wrecked physically and emotionally in the afternoons.

His speech is so much clearer and he is able to string complex words into sentences. So proud of his tenacity.

Adrian told me he was feeling dejected and frustrated with his ability to comprehend simple lists of instructions as he forgets or get confused easily. So when you visit or speak to him, be gentle.

We both know his recovery will be lengthy and possible through the love and support from those who care about him deeply. 

The kids and I are returning to Dalveen for a while as our house sitting job in Gympie has finished. Heartbreakingly, with a 7 hour( one way) road trip from Dalveen to Cooroy, we won't be seeing him much for a while.

I am in no headspace to plan anything further than a day or so ahead and am unwilling to commit to anything at the moment... So as weird as it is for miss spreadsheet planner.... I have no plans. I refuse to commit to anything.

I grabbed a shot of Age and the kids yesterday. You'll see how well he looks! I keep joking his arm brace needs to be made from leather and have studs in it!

Making Marmelade

I'm really enjoying the simple life. But to be honest, I don't know if I could handle anything more complicated.

The kids and I visited a wonderful friend, De, who has a small orchard of various citrus fruits. We all went down and picked limes, lemons and cumquats to make marmalade. Yum.  

The kids and I then huddled round our table to cut and slice the fruit up.

And finally today, I boiled it up and have bottled it. Its a bit dark, which means I overcooked it.. But I wanted it to set!

Its got the most gorgeous flavour!! Yummmmmbo!!

 

Age settling into Eden

Age is looking fantastic - especially considering how grey and drawn he has looked even a week ago.

His eyes are sparkling and he has good colour.

He has an arm/ shoulder brace to help mobile and focus movement in his right arm. I am so proud of his  absolute strength and resolve in his healing..( not sure if 'proud' is the right word??)

He is being challenged every day by the physio and OT . Every day I see huge improvements, especially with his speech and diction. We both realise that his stay at Eden may be for an extended time, but know this is the best place right now for his healing.

He has enjoyed the short visits with the kids and playing uno with them. I believe there is a checkers challenge raised for tomorrow..

Below is a shot of his Gym.. 

New Hospital for Age

A quick blog post to let you all know Adrian has been transferred to Eden Private Hospital in Maple Street, Cooroy.  

I am so delighted to say I scored him a  private room - which, though looks out onto a patio, is secluded and he can see trees.. Its Suite 36, in case you are up that way and can visit. He has his mobile which he can use - or use skype.. Or direct phone is 0754726468 . 

The admin folk were pretty insistent on telling me that phone calls and visits were strictly in visiting hours only. Visiting hours are 3 - 8 pm on weekdays and from 1 pm on weekends. Apparently there is no more laying round in bed for Mr Evett! He has full schedule in day of physio and other therapies so won 't be in his room in the mornings much. 

The kids and I settled him in last night, after the poor fella waited all day for the transfer! I was a bit cranky as I had said I could go down and get him, but they assured me all was in hand and he was leaving at 9.30 am.. And as I waited at Eden, he still hadn't left by 3.30... Phew! 

Anyway, the kids were overjoyed to see him. They both miss him so much. Nightimes are the worse.

Age is looking great, and his speech has improved in leaps and bounds. I'm sure all the concentrated therapies he will be undertaking will just triply speed his recovery.

Today he is having reviews and tests done, so it wont be till mid week next week till we know how long he will be there for. Eden is a mid to long term facility, so it may be months.. Who knows. All depends on Age and his reaction and effort in rehab. If anyone is going to bust out of there quickly, it will be him.

Bubble Bubble

With the new moon/ dark moon, brings the end and beginning of things. A time to create and a space to lay things to rest.

I've rediscovered my love of preserving and am pretty please with the results... and my wonderful little helper - Morgan.

 Last night I completed the steps in making strawberry and raspberry jam and mustard pickles. Its these two things that really feel "homely' to me.. real comfort foods.. Though I can't eat them at the moment.. they will keep.. and I've already promised bottles to some folk - the joy of cooking - giving it away to people who enjoy it.

Mar Mar always had a batch of mustard pickles on hand. I have fond memories of her brown bread, sliced thick with slabs of butter, fresh boiled eggs and smothered in mustard pickles... Mmmmmm

So, below is a pic of my newly made jars of love. Something sweet and something sour..

Age would love to hear from you!

Over four weeks now in hospital and no matter how pretty those physios are or cute the med students are, things can get a bit dull for Age......

There is the high possibility he will be moved to the rehab hospital today, if not, then this week.

In any case, please call him in his mobile as he has it on all the time, as well as skype him. He likes to talk on skype alot better as if you have the facility, you can see him - and communication is always better when you can see someone.

His skype is his name adrian.evett

Age sees the kids - with good news

Small steps is what we are all after- and it was wonderful to be able to see Age so happy to see the kids tonight.

They miss their dad so much...

Some great news received today was that he may be transferred to Eden Rehab as soon as Monday... So at least then it will only be a forty min drive one way to visit , rather than three and a half hour one way..

After the medical meeting.. News of sorts..

Had a very drawn out and long meeting today with every professional who had letters behind their name about the biopsy and future medical options for Age.

Cutting straight to the chase - The Good News- the biopsy shows that tumour is still a grade 2... Even though it is huge. So big victory dance deserved here!!

Bogus news is that its pressing on a number of places in his brain, behaviour, decision making, maths reasoning ... As well as motor on the right side and speech - making surgery not such a great option.

Bad news is based on the medical options available is basically chemo.. Which we are both violently against. 

Surgery and radiotherapy not safe options as far as they are concerned. The whole team meets on a Thursday to discuss cases, with. Adrian's one of the first on the agenda as he is up for 'release' yay!

Once he is discharged, he will be transferring to the rehab centre at Eden Private hospital. I was supposed to meet with the team today, but they got caught up and we didn't end up crossing paths.

I finished off taking the rest of his stubble and beard. I'm sure everyone will get used to his new look.. I caught a few shots of him after kidding round with him..

Age keeping chipper

Ask anyone who has been in hospital for any length of time, and they'll tell you there is a point you want to climb walls. Age has been in for over three weeks now, and though feeling ok, has no definitive  discharge date yet.

He has had a few minor set backs with recovery, but remains positive... A hard thing to do in any situation, exasibated by  the lack if information disseminated to him. As he is not able to speak at a regular rate, people not used to it will just limp him in as non verbal - which is, as you can image, very frustrating for him. I can vouch that he is absolutely himself in his thoughts, it just takes time and patience for him to express it.

As he is not able to shave to his high standards - and upkeep his beard, he has decided to lop it all off. So despite my protests, i helped him shorten it. I'd hoped he would keep it short at least, but in the shower, he decided to have another go at it. He will know I am teasing him now as I tell you that he looks like he has been in a scrap with a tomcat.. Anyway, the next photos I take of him will be him clean shaven. I need to get some good blades to do it.

He says by tomorrow that he will have it completely off.

His scars continue to heal. So perhaps its time for him to begin the rumours of a bear or shark attack..

Anyways, he is still chipper, loves visits by friends - even if he cant say much.. Bring a story and or some chocolate!

Update on Age

As frustrating as it may be for followers of this blog, its triply annoying for us not to have any definitive news or updates.

Adrian sounds stronger on the phone each time we speak or see each other. He has had a number of varying medications for seizures - some have left him feeling like he had cotton wool inside his skull and just being super tired.

He has enjoyed the challenges the medical students study on him and his case has brought him every day, and will report with a grin if he 'passes' another step toward recovery.

His metal staples have been removed, which has been a big relief for him.

He feels really well in himself and at one point today, the possibility was there for him to be moved into a general ward. He thinks this may still be in the cards, so watch this space.

His next step after discharge from the neuro ward is to talk about treatment plans and rehab. There is a strong possibility for him to be admitted into the Cooroy rehab hospital - sounds bad but its for folk who have had accidents etc.. I've looked into it and it looks really nice.. As much as a hospital I guess can be. Regardless of where he will do rehab, its a live in thing where he will be another few weeks.

So still a long journey in front of him, strengthened by those who live and care a great deal about him, fortified by all those visits from lovely mates.

So.. No news here.. Simply means no news.. 

Chilling out

Great mates, Bec and Xander came to visit this weekend. Apart from lots of long talks and walks, we took time just to chill and read on the verandah. Well, thats to say Lilly and Bec are.. 

I am still having issues concentrating and am unable to follow a storyline. I am hoping the blurryness in the text is just a temporary thing as , at the moment, thought I'd love to read, I cant see well enough to do so.

Making cubbies

The kids have had such s great time this week making cubbies from sticks and vines down along the creek.

Everyday, they take Murphy on a lead, along with a backpack of goodies and disappear for a few hours. Such bliss fir the kids to be running freerange!!

So glad they can have a country life experience throwing sticks and stones into the creek, getting muddy and just being outside.