Time Bomb Ticking

Adrian has been busted out of hospital and now asleep in his own little bed..

He is feeling pretty woozy with the drugs - understandably as it is meant to sedate and dampen brain activity.  Long term this is not a solution; but for the time being, it will control the seizures and perhaps give some respite to the stress surrounding them.

I’d like to add that I still cannot beat him at scrabble…

The nuros have done their job well and are probably feeling frustrated that we have ‘ignored’ their advice.  Certainly this is a time that tests ones resolve and commitment to the natural therapies.  Its early days yet, but I have had some feedback filtered back to me - by loving and well meaning people - who are horrified that we would not consider the chemo treatment.  If surgery and Western medicine is what you know - then you will go back to that comfort zone; and with all the love I can muster, I thank them for their concerns - knowing that it is just concerns - but that Adrian needs to make his own informed decision.

We’ve done the research before - but both anecdotally and tested - facts remain. Cancer suffers die. We all have a choice on the quality of the breaths we take - so why fill your body with toxins and live in a hospital?  Just been onto a website about Chemo and it had some FDA supervised clinical trials listed. pretty scary to see that they ‘boast’ that  9 % of patients are cancer free after their toxic treatment..ummmm 9%?  the rest?  Probably dead.  and of the 9% - they have to go back for further treatment in 5 - 7 years.

There is a reason why patients generally do not survive brain cancer and tumours: chemotherapy can't get into the brain due to the blood brain barrier, and radiation simply destroys the brain itself.

Adrian says that he has a time bomb in his head. Its been there all along; but asleep.  Its now woken up and ticking pretty loudly.

Which leaves it to ‘other’ options. Anything non toxic and supports the immune system will be a good start.

How is Age? Part 2

There is no good news when it comes to a few words being bandied about - those being hospital, brain tumour and seizures.

Its late Tuesday night and Age is still in hospital with no real answers.  He has had a number of small seizures and is kept under constant observation.  His medication has been changed and then increased - so its a wait and see game with that at least.

Yesterday he was super optimistic and felt great.  However after seeing a gaggle of doctors this morning, is pretty fed up with the attitude most of them have.  We both understand that  doctors in particular have got to have God like presence to instil certainty  and that you really wouldn't want a nervous or unsure doctor to be operating on you.. I also understand that they are caring and deeply humane people - though its hard to find that stance when they are undertaking bullying tactics and scare mongering. 

The course of action they are strongly suggesting involves him getting a biopsy on Monday. This is to acertian the grade of the tumour and if it has turned into a grade three, then a course of either chemo or radiotherapy will be undertaken.

There had been talk of debulking the tumour - which is basically cutting out some of it or complete removal - but the risks involved with both of these are still high.

Something I guess to recall is that none of this si shocking or new news.  Having lived with this for 11 years, at least in the backs of our minds, we knew these decisions would need to be made and this day would come.  Its not like this is a shocking revelation or that its only just been discovered.  We still have an emotional reaction to it - despite all of this.

I’d like to clarify too - that I am not in la la land. I may joke about being in denial, but I am meticulously clear about the future options and what lays ahead.  Just because I am not laying on the floor weeping or beating my head against a wall, doesn’t mean that I don’t ‘get’ the situation.  I figure it will do no-one any good if I fall apart. The kids need me to be together.  Age needs me to be strong for him…...  and I am no good at pity parties or wallowing is self pity.  So I am accessing my masculine and coping…There will be a time and place for me to drop that and fall apart at the seams.

At least too the kids aren’t going to have any issues with repressed emotions.  We have had screaming matches, tears and both kids have told me that they hate me today… so great…..

I’ve spent the days with Age - playing scrabble.. and how sucky is this?  He still beats me!  I am going to bring in Backgammon tomorrow…  he has been so appreciative of the amount of phone calls and SMS he has had - so thanks to everyone who has done that.

So as it stands, Age will not be undergoing surgery, unless it is proven to him that his health is under serious threat right now.  Something we learnt from last time was that  doctors like to rush decisions, load it up on emotions and force you to make uninformed choices.  We aren’t sure when he is allowed to come home; but I have made an appointment to see Dr Greg - who is a wholistic medical doc - and a very open one to very alternative medical practices. If it takes me to ‘bust’ Age out tomorrow… then thats what I am doing to get him to Dr Greg for a second opinion.

I’ll be in the getaway car on Wed arvo.  more news as it comes to hand.

Update on Age

For anyone who has facebook, this news in not new. For those without it - or who don’t look often; take a seat.

First - Age is ok - for now.

Thursday afternoon while he was waiting for a bus to meet us at the Library, Age had a massive seizure.  He lost consciousness for about 20 mins, waking up disorientated in the ambulance near the RBH. I got a call to come immediately and that he was in emergency.. so had a pretty hellish drive into hospital, thinking all those positive thoughts along the way…( note the dripping sarcasm)

One of the worst things was the waiting and not knowing what was going on.  When I arrived and asked to see him, the emergency nurse asked for my id and then rang ahead to see if I could be admitted.  Now I REALLY had positive stuff going though my head then…

When I got to see him, he was all hooked up to machines ( that went bing) and was strapped to the bed so he couldn’t move. They suspected head injuries and spinal problems.  On his head was a lump the size of an ostrich egg.

He was still pretty dazed then.  He was wheeled off for scans and bled out for blood, and finally allowed to be unstrapped. Poor bloke was starving as he’d had nothing since lunchtime - and being gluten intolerant couldn't have the sandwiches being offered. 

I have to say I was very impressed by the emergency team.  Adrian had another seizure - not a big one - and the nurse pressed the button… and people ran from everywhere, wheeling trollies and ready to go… It was like being on the set of Grays Anatomy.  He was shot with an anti seizure drug and steroids.

Jodi - who had kindly taken the kids as I threw them out on the way past, came in with a care package of coffee and lots of chocolate, and some fresh clothes. We sat together and chatted to Age while we waited for more tests and for a doctor to come and tell us what was going on.  She got the kids sorted out to get off to school the next day too.

I was impressed too by the light atmosphere of the emergency ward - the people coming in - how polite and grateful they were to the nurses.  Nurses - by the way do not get paid enough.. Especially for working past midnight when the weridos, drunks and druggos came in, abused shouted and yelled at the staff.  We had people refusing treatment and being handcuffed to the chair.  It was pretty ordinary..

By three am, it was clear to me that we weren’t going to see a neuro and I was exhausted - so drove home.  Age tried to sleep in the bright lights of emergency, whilst being hooked up to drips.

Incredibly, the neuro did turn up - about 4 am. Age was moved to another ward and put under hourly observations and a list of more tests to do later on that day.

Later - well - Friday morning, Max and I went in to see Age in his new bed, sat around a table and chatted when Scott came to visit and were generally heartened to see Age in a positive and up beat mood and outlook.  

Age had seen another set of neuros, desperate to push their case for surgery.  He was moved up to the Neuro ward and taken off for more scans. His medication had changed and perhaps it has something to do with the thickening of his tongue or he may have bitten it the day before, but by mid afternoon, it was obvious he as having trouble forming words properly. About 5 pm he had another mild seizure - so was moved to a private room, next door to the nurses station and put onto regular observations.

Hes is a bit spacy with the drugs they have him on and noticeably forgetful, which I know will irritate him to no end. The drugs have side affects such as more seizures, enlargement of the liver and fatty liver, so alright for now - but not a long term solution.

Its our intention to gather as much info about the options available and to talk them through - without being forced into a fear based one. Two options immediately presented involve surgery - one to partially remove the tumour, the other to try and get the whole thing.  Each with risks involved. 

The scans so far have revealed that there has been growth in the tumour  - but not to a dramatic amount which would warrant this sudden change in seizures. The other is that there is calcification within the brain - esp around the tumour area.

Its been 11 years since the tumour was found. After radiation, Age had five good years with no seizures. Seizures have gradually progressed from a mild annoyance and now to potentially dangerous situations. 

So that brings us up to Friday night.  I’ve come back to Jodis house where the kids are having a wild time.  I’m numb I guess. Have cloaked myself in the masculine and coping that way; just getting through.

Again, we are taking this an hour or two at a time… and I’ll keep you up to date as I know stuff - via Facebook mostly.


I guess the best thing you can do is to just send blessings, good luck or whatever it is that you may believe.  Adrian would love to chat with you - even for five mins - so a call is always appreciated.

Virus be damned....

It would seem that after over six weeks of Adrians mystery illness getting worse and worse , that we may have an answer… and certainly not something we had anticipated. Its not something we have really talked about much as its been traumatic - but hopefully we see the light at a less serious tunnel this time.

With the stress of his work and just general stuff, Age has gotten run down and tired and very open to picking up whatever was going round - which he obviously did. A bad chesty cough went deeper and lower and evolved into a lower lung infection - which in old terms was pneumonia. We don’t go much for Doctors - so Age had a day or two off and lay around in the sun dosing up on love and Vit C and garlic.

Only marginally better, trudged off to work, but suffered fevers, aches and pains and never really got better. One night I got home from one of my courses to find him picking up the pieces of a kitchen drawer which contained our Dolton - which to the most was left unscathed ( phew!!) the drawer however was smashed from the sheer impact of him collapsing into it after a coughing fit left him with no air - and he blacked out. His coughing became spiratic but violent. One late night we ended up in hospital ( thats another story - bleeding hopeless public system… 8 hour wait.) A trip to a doc saw him come out clutching antibiotics which didn’t really do a great deal but stuff his stomach up and make him feel even worse. Another collapse in the kitchen while I was at a class resulted in the kids being taught how to call the ambo and other emergency care - and another smashed drawer.

The worst part was that he was getting more exhausted, stressed and the coughing seemed to trigger seizures. After collapsing in the street and finding out that the myth that you falling lightly if you black out is crap ( huge bruises and blood) - off to another doc and tests done - all seeming to be fine - except the exhaustion…so more antibiotics…..( just for good measure) Adrians seizures are unexplainable at the best of times - so really hard to pin that one…

A few more collapsing tricks later and all we had was the vague diagnosis that it was viral and all connected with the asthma and tumour…..

You need a good sense of humour on this journey - and Adrian is the master jester of this situation. I queried if he was going to demolish any more drawers then could I have a new kitchen? One morning he collapsed in the bathroom and when I rushed in to help him, Adrian accused me of hitting him on the back of the head! He was deadly serious as he stood there with cuts on his head and just goes to show that he DOES love me that he didn’t immediately launch an defensive attack back at me!

Anyway, not really any better and now forced to be the passenger where ever we go as there is little warning of a black out; you can only imagine how impressed Age is about the whole thing. Of a little comfort though, is the self diagnosis of Whooping Cough. A little known disease in adults - but after a bit of research on medical sites and listening to other adult patients recordings of the cough - its little doubt that this is what it is. No cure - just rest and it sticks around for 100 days.. Concerning is the link to his asthma and weakened lungs, compromised immune system and possible links to the seizures.

We are hoping that our week holiday doing NOTHING on board a cruise ship will prove a huge curative for him - 11 days and counting….

I’ve read a number of reports that it is a contagious disease, both Morgan and Lilly have had a slight cough a week or so ago and I have had a silly half hearted thing late at night - but we’ve put those down to stress rather than anything else….. so a check for anyone who has been near us in the last 6 weeks.. we might have passed something unwittingly to you.. that is, if you go in for the ‘passing diseases on’ theory..

Busy February Family

Just before Christmas I bought a family planner that goes on our magnetic wall to detail the activities each member of the family was up to – so to bring some sort of order into the chaos.

I am so proud of everyone keeping up their activities – but it is starting to get a tad busy for all of us and I am glad we are only doing one thing each.. well there about anyway.

Lilly is loving her dance classes and her gymnastics class. I take her at the same time Morgan does his – more really for the fact that she would be sitting on a hard bench whining about how bored she is and how she wants to do what the big girls are doing. She does have a habit of saying things are too hard for her before she even tries them – so I am glad she has a tough teacher who just make her do it anyway.

Morgan has such determination in his face while he is doing his gymnastics. He might not be the most graceful there – but he has such heart that I know the teacher is very encouraging and he is responding to this well.

I am still 25 years too old for hip hop - but a great things was that I have paved the way for other mothers to come along. I was less than pleased when one came up to me and said that her daughter had told her that a real old lady was doing it and if she can do it so can you mum.. .great.

Been on this raw food diet for two weeks now – and I have to say feeling a lot more peppy. Go here for full details of it...The weight doesn’t say much change – but my pants feel a lot looser and my eyes are brighter. Measure ups is on Tuesday – so looking forward to seeing if there is significant change there. I am aiming for an inch shedded “somewhere’ every week. Got a heap of inches to shed – so anywhere is good for me!

Age still enjoying yoga and is looking it up on the internet ot find more books and techniques. He had an appointment with Greg on Friday and I am pleased to say that all indicators are looking good as far as his blood results go. He needs more Vit D ( sun) and vit K ( leafy greens) – so the green smoothies are a great thing for him to do. We are all working on being as close to 100% raw as we can.

I went to a writers seminar on Sat and really enjoyed it – made the old brain tick away –with good practical examples and pieces for us to work on immediately. While I was there, Age took the kids to Movie world – under duress – however I do think he really enjoyed it. Lilly is delighted that she is now tall enough to go on all the kids stuff in the kids area. There is an amazing deal on for Queenslanders – Seaworld, Movie world and Wet and Wild

– unlimted tickets from now till 30^th June for the price of one entry to one of the parks. Given we live no more than 40 mins from them – it’s a bargain and especially if we bring our own snacks – its a very cheap and enjoyable day out.

Age and I both have workshops we will be doing in the next few months – over the weekends – so it will be a good thing to take the kids too, rather than sit at home.

This morning Age and Morgan got stuck into making the drawer sets for both Morgans and Lillys cupboards. They are untreated pine and the aroma is delicious!

Lilly especially enjoyed it as she got to keep the cardboard boxes and paint on them.. here she is!