I look forward to the next few days of flat country. It would seem that the fog I have had surrounding every thought has slowly begun to lift. Storylines are presenting themselves, words which have jumbled and crowded thrmselves inside me are being released. I am feeling balanced and welcoming myself back to me.
I understand that the next few months as I move more into the next phase of our lives are critical in keeping that integrity and freedom of self, of not accepting things which are not outstanding or excellent and not forgetting the sacredness of this quiet, alone time.
I do feel Adrian beside us many times. I see so many stones in perfect heart shapes - in places I randomly stop, place my backpack or place a hand. I realise there is no' random.' These are truely messages of love to me, of farewell from an incredible man who did his utmost in a dreadful situation; and that his love will continue , as mine does, beyond the grave. But in this , the realisation that it is time for me to let him go and grasp yhe new life ahead of me. To honour him is to continue to live a full life, bursting in love, passion and to live in grace- the way we always lived - never to leave things unsaid, undone.
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