We have met a great many people on our trek so far, with so many different reponses to what we are doing. Most have been supportive and loving. The ones who are incredulous or non complimentary , I have just smiled and left them to thier own opinions, as I know thier reactions are not a reflection or comment on me, but rather a reflection of thier own fears and egos.
The schooling issue has been the most diverse and one I have been surprised at. I guess I'm a little sick of explaining that yes, I am a qualified teacher in both Australia and in Britain and yes the kids have individualistic programs drawn up to cater for thier needs and that yes my philosophy is child centred and the curriculum is organically evolved. As a good friend suggested, perhaps I'm better off telling people that kids in Australia don't go to school and chase kangaroos all day.. I think the reactions I get will be similar. I have no concerns about thier development in the key areas. Pffttt.... Both are using money and time skills in real life situations everyday - timetables, paying for things, calculating distances and times..phew.. I could go on.. As for the historical and geographical learnings..do I need to dpell itvout ?? The language and culture skills, written skils when completing their blogs...I haven't even started pulling big words or concepts out of my teacher box yet...so no... I'm not concerned that they will be falling behind in the least.
The things Morgan saw, had to deal with and process in the last camino is something I know will take years for him to fully come to terms with. Little by little though, we are all coming to peace with the saddness and replacing it with happy memories. The kids, and I, know in our hearts that the person who evolved along the Camino was not our loving Age and Daddy. I've been astounded at the amount of people I've met this trip who have been affected in similar ways as we, with loved ones with brain tumours- from nurses who deal with it every day, to psychs to widows and family members. I'm blessed that Age chose to leave quickly having heard many of thier experiences. I know he did everything he could in his confused pained state , to help us. It 's just still a little bit of a journey to really be at peace with some things; but we are getting there. We know he walks with us along this pilgrimage. I find so many little messages from him, the kids find things too, so we are all journeying this healing process together.
Morgans grief was highlighted today as our exhastion has taken the better of us and everything is still so raw. Lilly ( and I ) cry alot along the way. I 'm getting so much better at telling our story, without ego and without crying .. Just as an IS..and that yes.. You know what?? It was shit.. Plain and simple.. Total crap what happened , the way it evolved and the fall out.. But we journey onward. I continue to open my heart and be in the place of love... And we keep breathing.
We had just walked into a bar for dinner and the music being played was some Spanish classical guitair- exactly the tracks which Adrian used to play on his guitar before he got bad . The tears began to roll down Morgans face and for a while , he was inconsolable. He has been such a stocic little tacker, a few sad moments as memories of one thing or another came up, but factual and sensible about most things.
Though I have done a bunch of training , when grief is so close, its a hard one to coach and counsel out of. We held each other and continued to listen to the music, beginning to bring happier memories in.
Its not that we are doing crazy long milage; most days are 15 km or a little less. The main one I guess is the constant reminders as Morgan dialogues what happened in this particular spot . His visual and emotional memory is astounding . The changeable weather, the challanging environment, the constancy of the three of us together.. It all adds up I guess.
We talk a great deal during the day; sometimes on general things, other times on specific topics. They have ranged from the economic status of Spain, what supply and demand is, a brief overlook of the stockmarket and how it works, choices transgender people make , how to run a b and b or hotel and how to make buggies from smashed up cars. The kids have detailed minds and love to explore and discuss topics. I wonder where that comes from?
I think I'm rambling now.. Its late and we have the pilgrim breaker mountain to climb tomorrow.
Know that we are doing more than ok. Know we are healing and processing together, building our family unit as a strong team. Know that we appreciate your love and support.
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