Age out of surgery.

I have no other details except he is out of surgery and in ICU. 

The nurse I spoke with said everything looks great and asked me to call back in an hour after they have run more tests and  settled him.

At present, they said he cannot have visitors till possibly Friday, due to infection risks and the rest he needs.

I'll update as more news comes to hand.

Age off for surgery

Adrian is being taken off for surgery - for several hours and will be in the ICU for a number of days now - so if you were planning on calling or visiting, he won't be in the Neuro ward for a while. I am not taking phone calls, but will always answer an sms.  I am not really in the position to talk much - and I know you will all understand and give me space.

Although Adrian and I are very confident and at peace with the surgery, any extra prayers, healing energies and good wishes won't go astray either!

On Monday we discussed with the Neurosurgeon the options and possibilities Adrian faced. I just looked back on this blog and found the posts I put up when he had his major episode and was hospitalised for a week - and found its basically the same discussion - we have just put it off for three years.  Here is a link to one of them - but go back to 2010 to find them. Fortunately, technology has advanced a little more, giving even more options.

Below are photos of two slices of MRI scans done last week, after the swelling had been arrested and he was stable. Those first scans I don't have and were pretty scary anyway.

On the first scan - where the doctor has drawn - you can see two main white patches - thats his tumour. the back part is where motor control and speech sort of lay - so its heavily intwined over the top of it - which is why in 1999, we chose not to go ahead with surgery as the danger of altering or cutting this off was - and still is far too high.

The scan underneath is a 'slice' higher up and shows how the tumour is pushing alot of the left side over and squishing it.  The edema had totally squashed parts, so this is why its going to be a long rehabilitation and timeframe for healing, while things settle down and get back into their normal spot.

So back to the surgery right now - which is happening - like right now as I type.

They will do a biopsy and gathering a sample about the size of a 20c coin. this will be done from the front part of the tumour and will be tested immedialty. They want to know what grade and type of tumour it is and what if any changes have happened since the last one - in 1999.

Depending on the results will depend on what they will do from there while he is still under.

If the tumour is still a grade 2 and has no changes - they will close up and do nothing.

If the tumour has changed, but not yet a grade 3 - they will debulk - and only the front bit - basically remove as much as they can without doing any harm. This will just give more time and space.

If the tumour is a grade 3 - it will be debulking, and then we will need to discuss radiotherapy options.

If its gone to a grade 4 ( which the neuro said he highly doubts) it will be debulking and some major decisions on other surgeries and medications.

While we are both at peace with the biopsy and possibility of debulking, we are both in agreeance that further surgeries, radiotherapy and chemo are not options.  Age and I feel that healing of the tumour had begun and some major changes happened on his spiritual path on the Camino where he utilised a number of tools to gain peace and clarity. These tools are no longer needed for his journey as he now steps into new insights.

Along the way, we have been presented with more options for healing, which only Adrian can decide which is best for him and his healing.  I know and trust that everything will be alright.  I also know its going to be a hard journey for the whole family and that trust and love will carry us onward.

Plans that went astray

I am constantly delighted as things as 'meant' to be are guided into our paths. I do try to find the glittering gems in every situation, and even now, a very dark time for both of us, I have faith that all is well.

Age and I took a leap of faith earlier this year. We both knew his health was diminishing and that our suburban lifestyle had become a prison. Don't get me wrong, I loved my home, I loved the  school the kids went to and our street, with its wonderful neighbours was incredible. I miss and mourn that time gone. But we had known for at least two years   that things needed to change and we needed to stretch our legs again ... But its that old rut. ... The complacency of comfort and the allure of just letting thing lay.  

It was such a blessing that we were able to sell the house so quickly, a bit of a heart wrenching activity for us to have to be apart while I worked and he trained for the Camino with Morgan, but one we knew would be worth it. It was the longest time in 24 years that we had been apart.... And then they went off to Spain... My heart was wrung out every day just waiting to hear or see a blog post from them. With Age off on his spiritual journey, I kept my distance - giving him space to find his path. gahh......... but enough of that.

We'd planned to come back from Europe and come straight into this house sitting role in Gympie just to rest and to reaffirm where we were going together and as a family. I had planned to work in supply teaching while up here - there are 7 school just in Gypmpie alone do I knew Id have no worries there. Age had planned just to kick back and enjoy the solitude of the trees and birds for the month.

 From there, we had planned to do  other house sits in areas along the Northern New South Wales coast to get a feel for different towns and where we might like to settle for a while. I'm a step away from getting full registration in NSW teaching.. I may still complete that process - its taken months already!

I guess that is still happening, with a few more complications thrown in for good measure.. But everything is possible..

 I obviously cant work as the kids are with me and no-one to look after them if I go off to work. I do worry about finances, but at this point at times, I struggle to find my way  round the house, so am in no position to be teaching in a classroom.

Despite all this....Feeling pretty blessed to be where we are in Gympie. Its a wonderful home with so much good energy. I'll do another blogpost with photos about it soon. The shame of course, is that its just over three hours drive one way to see Age in hospital. He can only manage ten mins or so before he flakes out. So.. The kids and I do alot of driving and I am getting to know this part of the highway well.

This post is a bit scattered.. Like my mind at the moment.

Know that I am ok.The kids are resilient and been such a support to me. I trust intuition and know Adrian is fine too. 

We will work through all challenges as we always have, with open hearts and souls, honesty and each others best interests at heart. 

As I have said before, there is no sides to take and no judgement. We have an 'is'. And all we can do is to work from there.

Thank you all our beautiful friends who have loved and supported us over the last  week. The depth of my gratitude for your understanding and selflessness runs miles underground.