Precious Moments

Although you think you understand the concept, it takes a child to focus you back to what is important. Lilly and I spent the day at home today – with no plans but doing fun stuff. I have been pretty pre-occupied with the ebook and the website, finishing and editing articles, researching and getting my profile in a higher spot on the internet. It all takes so much time – and I am thankful that both Morgan and Lilly are independent enough to be able to amuse themselves away from TV or computers and are happy playing imagination games or with toys.

Earlier in the year I set out my paints and my easel, wanting to reconnect with the artist I had been. I took out all my oils, laid out my pain brushes – but was paralyzed. I couldn’t do the first brush stroke. I have always waited for something to appear to me – to beg me to paint it- but nothing came. Lilly and I splotched pain all over a large cardboard box and we drew flowers and suns.

Today I asked her what we aught to do today. She wanted to paint – just like we did along time ago. She had remembered this precious moment – months ago –where we co-painted and were silly together. I then question why we don’t do it more often – I just never get round to it. We looked at some photos of when Morgan was 18 months to 2 or so – just before she was born. I did so much craft and creative things with him it wasn’t funny – and have the photos to prove it. Mother guilt has truly kicked in now –wondering why I have allowed Lillys artistic talent to wane and that I have stunted her creative growth.

When we picked Morgan up, we made afternoon tea – lots of yummy fruit on sticks and crackers and some left over cheeses from Saturdays party. Another note – my kids rock – they will taste and try everything, Both have decided that blue vein is pretty yucky, but like brie over camembert. A whole tub of marinated Boccanini was consumed in one sitting. Morgan loves to experiment with tastes and so we had savory rice crackers with yogurt and jam on them, cheese and strawberries etc.

We shot off to the park on our bicycle – doing a big loop on the tracks. We are so blessed to live here! Wide clean and safe areas for the kids to learn to ride their bikes - a creek full of interesting things and bushland just behind us. Precious moments. They slip past us so quickly and unless you recognize and celebrate them – you lose all sight of what is important – always striving for the next thing.

I saw a beautiful quote – Today is a gift – why else is it called the present?

Food Issues

I know this is all about me and my issues and my insecurities – it doesn’t make it easier know this - and I need to air this.

Lilly has days where she will refuse to eat – anything. I try to ignore it and my repeating answer after is – I don’t run a café here – you eat when everyone else eats and you eat what we all eat.

Then there are the days that she eats like a horse – honestly. This morning she ate a bowl of rice bubbles, an apple and 3 bananas. Adrian had a cooked breaky about an hour after this and she pestered him until she secured an egg and a sausage from him.I have a large fruit bowl in the kitchen and I know I do encourage the kids to eat fruit whenever they like – but she does – a lot. Its not uncommon for her to eat a few bananas and apples after lunch and then again for dessert. I mean – where is it going?

I cannot give her anything sugary – she goes completely mad. Thankfully when we go out and she is offered softdrink or juice – she always asks for water – bless her. But watch the biscuits. Today she scoffed 4 shortbreads in as many second and then started in on the chocolate ones – but found she only liked chewing the chocolate off them.

I know of the theories – if you deny food or use it as rewards or punishments – then it will start a chain of events and issues with food – and its the last thing I want – especially for Lilly. Having grown up always fat – always overweight – nothing fitting and standing out in the crowd – I so don’t want it for her. I know I have an obsessive nature and its often difficult for me to curb it.

I get so angry and frustrated with her sneaking food into her room – she knows that I don’t want her to be eating things – and she sneaks them in – I found an empty packet of jelly crystals in her bed today and am forever taking Morgan’s school snacks ( muesli bars etc) away from her. I guess its difficult for her to understand that Morgan gets these things and she doesn’t.

Both the kids are on the side of solid – thankfully very active. Just reviewing it – I believe I have been on a diet now for the better part of 25 years. Help! Phew.. motherguilt – kick on in.

Go to bed!

Its nearly 10 pm. I have been attempting to put Lilly to bed since 7.

We have a routine where we have a story each before bedtime. They go and brush their teeth, find a book from the library and put it in their beds and then go and give Daddy a big hug and kiss goodnight. Then its into bed – hugs kisses etc etc and off to sleep. I know you aught not compare kids – but Morgan goes out like a light – and has done so for years. Lillys usual response to going to bed is this.

7.10 reading light is turned on and off as she fiddles with it.

7.15 calls for another hug and kiss – which is done – but warned that this is the last one tonight. I check in on Morgan who is snoring.

7.15 – 7.30 reads book, talks to teddy or dolls.

7.30 gets out of bed and gets all of dolls and tucks into bed.

7.40 gets backpack out of cupboard and fills it with teddies and old mobile phones and tucks into bed.

7.50 calls for drink of water

7.52 starts singing twinkle twinkle or old Mc Donald… loudly..

7.55 gets annoying toy with pull string or similar and repeatedly makes it sound its tune.

7.59 toy is confiscated

8.00 Loud wailing and tears.

8.10 little head pops round corner “ I need to go to the toilet” stands there are repeats till I walk her there ( not needed – she has been going by self for months)

8.15 still sitting on toilet – unrolling paper.

8.30 has stuffed entire toilet roll down toilet and flushing loo till it pours over. Sink tap is turned on full bore.

8.35 Lilly taken to bed, mess tidied up

8.40 small head pops round corner. “ I’m hungry” depending on my mood an apple is cut up and eaten at the table or the shouting starts.

9.30 Small ninja steals into the kitchen and secures a banana and an apple and smuggles back to bed. Ignored

9.45 naked child streaks through house.

9.55 child returned to room. Entire drawer of shorts and shirts have been tried on and spread over floor. Shouting ensues.

10 pm in bed with every stuffed toy she owns. Hard to see child – but the talking continues so am guessing she is in there somewhere.

10.01 talking stops mid sentence. Snores are heard.

Oh and – up by 5.30 in summer ( despite block out curtains and block out blind making room pitchblack.) and possibly 6.15 in winter time.

No sleeps during day. Stopped that when she was 18 months.

I am at a loss on what to do with her. I guess she is very much like me – needing little sleep – so what do you do? Let her stay up? Oh and no – I am not exaggerating – this is a transcript of what happened last night and give or take one or two items – this is usually what happens. – amidst threats of tying her in bed, locking the door and turning out the light.. These threats usually keep her in bed for about 5 mins or so.

Arggghhh!