Rites of Passage.

After going to the party on Saturday, it has given me a lot to think about. I host a cocktail party every quarter – just for girlfriends – a chance to leave partners and kids behind – we wear our PJs drink copious amounts of cocktails made by a wonderful barman, we share glorious food, laugh lots, read tarot cards, paint our nails, put on tattoos and watch old movies till the wee hours. I thought it a great opportunity to include this party to my gathering – so have booked Grace to come along in August. I have sent out invitations already and have been quite surprised at some of the reactions I have gotten back – but people I would not have expected to have those sorts of thoughts or reactions. I found it interesting how many have been challenged by the thought of going to see items such as these and have blatantly refused to come. I have also been relived that some of my adventurous friends have said – hell yeah! So I guess its like Grace said – you just can’t judge what a person is going to be like. I loved her story of a very prim and proper lady at a party, sitting with her pursed lips. When she came into order her goods in the private room, she picked up one of the toy whips ( not really intended for anything but s shock and tickle) and proceeded to whip it around and hit herself on the arm. She frowned and asked if they had anything harder. The company do not explore bondage, so Grace told her of some websites and other online companies to look at for her needs. So it just goes to show – it takes all sorts and you can’t tell..

Its got me thinking of the rites of passage that I have experienced and the ones I want to pass on to my kids. The basic human need for ceremony and ritual is strong within my spirit. Having explored a number of faiths, I am yet to find something that really fits, but am happy with my place at the moment ( this two seconds at least)

I have heard of a ring ceremony for girls which I really liked. I haven’t found any further info on it and the details were sketchy – however, its our family ceremony – so I can tailor it to what we please.

The ring is a very strong symbol in itself. Demonstrating the never ending cycle of life, infinity and never changing pace of the physical. Our culture recognizes a ring on a left finger as a bondage or promise to another. In more modern times, women have taken to wearing a ring of beauty on their right hand as a symbol of their independence. My proposal is to have a very special diamond ring for Lilly, given to her by her Daddy at a special age – perhaps 8 yrs old perhaps a little later 10? This ring will be worn on her right hand as a symbol of love and protection by her clan. She need not be bonded to any other until she decides but must ceremonially hand back that ring before placing another on her left hand. I need to look further into protection stones and metals before getting it made.

A coming of age ritual for Morgan would need to include some sort of physical challenge and to be accepted amongst the company of men. Although I am not sure about him being ‘hunted’ in the darkened forest, the strong symbology of that is very attractive. We have good links with a Norse clan who currently undertake this type of challenge for its youths. Thankfully we have a long wait yet to decide – but these things are amongst our conversation already.

There is no reason both Morgan and Lilly cannot undertake a physical challenge – not for Morgan to wear a symbol of protection by his clan. The ceremonies we set up for their naming days were simply the start of their journey. Meaningful ceremonies with true links to community and people is the essence to what I seek.