Dangerous and Dirty

I had meant to start this entry with my thoughts on the education of females into sexuality. The rites of passage which have been long lost in our culture. This all came about through my participation today at a sex toy party. I was particular challenged in even going along, as I had seen the catalogue and couldn’t imagine sitting through any sort of demonstration of what I thought were crass and dirty things.

Then I started to correct myself, it was prudish and unjust to label these items that way. Without going into much detail, I have experimented with a number of things sexually, but had always felt uncomfortable, dirty and shamed in doing so. This brought upon a new thought – why should something as natural, normal and healthy as sex be dirty, shameful or hidden away? My passage into womanhood was especially traumatic and one I would never wish upon any girl. For most women I know, their introduction or knowledge about sex was that it was dirty and it was dangerous. So what did we all do? We sought out and had dirty and dangerous sex. Never once thinking or believing that it could be any different. I fear for Lilly and know I must initiate ‘something’ now, in preparation…

I started to think about rites of passage – not just for girls, but for boys as well – and realised that we are all lost, all clamouring for recognition. I have written the below- just a draft at the moment and not finished at all… – and will write about the party tomorrow…

Rites of passage in many cultures are used to mark the socially recognized transition to sexual maturity These rites signaled a groups tribute that its young member had reached the age of responsibility, fertility, and community productivity. Puberty rites in numerous cultures have been well documented and analyzed. They are an attempt to prepare, impress upon and educate them for their new role and place within their community.

For girls, it is a marked change with body shape and the commencement of periods. In our culture, a humiliating, shameful monthly experience to be endured and hidden. For boys, the change is a less noticeable and perhaps this is a reason in our society it is not celebrated or recognized. It is little wonder than , that adolescents form their own gangs or sub cultures with their rules and standards to live by. This need for ceremony, for a passage of rite is a base human need. Our culture is little different to ancient ones, with piercings, self mutilation, tattooing, tasks which challenge physical and mental capabilities, ritualized paints and clothing to signal certain messages. And yet there is a gap between what spiritually is happening and what is physically manifesting itself.

The need for support and recognition from an emerging adult may come long before any physical signs of maturation. Its too late once these physical changes have or are occurring. Rites of passage need to be integrated into a community and families life. Coming of age brings responsibly , but also a wider range of choices and the ability to have a greater input into their own direction. There is a need to connect with their inner energy and to make sense of it meaning in a wider sense – of community and world.

Our rites of passage connects us to our past and our futures. It brings hope and excitement. It brings realization of responsibility. For women – the realization and responsibility of the ability to birth a new life. For men, the same responsibility, recognizing their input and impact of their actions. Energetically and physically, we must honour each step in our childrens paths. For each step brings them closer to their emergence as an adult.